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so you want to visit the famous team smartyPants! world headquarters? it's easy!
If you're from Canada it's le cinch! find your way to Thunder Bay, Ontario (the cultural center of your fair country) via HWY-1 or HWY-17 and head south on HWY-61. Be careful at the border patrol (i.e. don't mention us) and make your way to Duluth, Minnesota (long considered neutral territory). From there head south (about 2240 friendly kilometers) on IH-35 and don't stop until you get to Austin, Texas! Exit MLK Boulevard and take a right. About 1 kilometer down the road you'll see a Pizza Hut on the left. Cut through their parking lot and go left on Guadalupe Street. Two blocks down you'll find the ArtPlex building on your left. Just leave your Citroen right in front. Canadians always park for free at tsP! Go on inside and take the lift to the third floor and come on in and make yourself at home!
Hey, Yankees! It's time to relax!!! Take a soothing subway to Grand Central Station and saunter over to the Greyhound counter and buy yourself a one-way ticket for Texarkana. Be sure to get a window seat and pack a Funsaver cuz there sure are some pretty sites along that 1,471 mile ride. Four days later when you arrive in chic Texarkana (it's twice as good!) pop right over to the Rent-a-Car and get yourself a cute little subcompact (i like green!) and hit the road (again). Take 59-S down a piece to Marshall, TX and then get on 79-E and just follow that all the way to sinful Round Rock and head South at the IH-35 junction all the way into downtown Austin. We're on the right. You can't miss us. Just look for my Honda. Go ahead and park right next to me. I don't mind. Really, I don't!
To get to the tsP! world HQ from poland is as easy as 1-2-3:
1 - Walk, hitchhike and bicycle through Greece and Turkey so as to take overnight ferry to Egypt. Don't forget your passport! Those border guards sure can be insistent.
2 - Jump from the ferry before it docks to acclimate yourself to the water. While swimming to shore, don't forget to gather reeds to build the boat you will need to paddle up that gentle giant we call the Nile. Paddle through the desert to Khartoum. Watch for fiesty rebel soldiers in the countryside as they can ruin your WHOLE day.
3 - Wait three days at Khartoum International Airport for flight to Paris from where you may easily follow the Parisian directions. VOILA! and we will have the refreshments waiting!
Take the Concorde to Thunder Bay, Ontario and follow Canadian directions.
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